Slowly coming back

I do not even know what to write. Silence grips me. I try to speak but only gasps for air come out. I lay down my life with the memories, sensations, and flashbacks luring me back to childhood. I feel eight years old. I feel eleven years old. I feel too much. Thank you for […]

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I don’t want to talk about it But I want you to hear everything I’m not saying.

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Silence of the dead

Silence of the dead 1

I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about how heavy my heart is. I don’t want to talk about how hopeless I am. I don’t want to talk about how lonely I am. I don’t want to talk about how fat I feel. I don’t want to talk about how […]

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Vegetarianism and eating disorders

Vegetarianism and eating disorders 13

I was asked by Dietician recently why I became a vegetarian. I gave her the standard “so I will feel better” and “I’m against animal cruelty” (which I am) answers. But after thinking about it, I know being a vegetarian has to do more with my eating disorder and less to do with animals. I […]

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Emotional

Emotional 22

I feel so emotional. The least little thing is provoking tears. I never cry, so why are these tears so special? I’m living in a dark place where no one can see me or touch me. I do not feel safe. I had an MRI today to help determine the cause of my dizziness and […]

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