I’ve been writing about my mental illness since 2009. Why do I do it? Why do I write about my mental illness when most people do not like to discuss it and prefer to keep it private? Why do I keep coming back, post after post, willing to share the most embarrassing and difficult aspects of my life?

First Things First

Please allow me to thank you for clicking on this title and reading this post. What I am about to say is vital to why I have this website in the first place and have chosen to not hide behind my disorders/issues/mental illness.  Every time I post, I am exposing myself and my inner world to the thoughts, feelings, and reactions of others, which can leave me very vulnerable. But there is a reason why I share so much, despite the frequent question, “Why did you say that?” I want you to know why I share and why it’s so important to talk about our struggles with mental illness. 

Labels, Diagnoses, and Me

I have several mental disorders, but they fall under a much bigger umbrella of a diagnosis that comes with so much stigma, fear, and shame. I have been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, which some may know its former name as multiple personality disorder. 

Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID, is all about being dissociated and disconnected from reality. All of us dissociate to some extent, such as driving a car and missing your exit because you were daydreaming, or maybe your mind wanders during a school lecture of a meeting with your boss. This is the type of dissociation that most people experience. 

But DID is a different animal and is a little more extreme than just tuning out your environment. I experience life with DID in ways that seem unimaginable and crazy.  I live with what feels like different and distinctive personalities in my head, although they are actually just different facets of my personality. But it is experienced as very real and very different voices in my head that have their own ideas, thoughts, feelings, and personality traits that are different from my own.

I won’t give you the whole realm of experiences I live with at this moment. I will save that for a later post. But to understand what it feels like to live a day in my life and my head with DID, please visit an article I wrote on a mental health website called HealthyPlace. You may find my article, “A Day in the Life of Dissociative Identity Disorder,”   here at www.HealthyPlace.com.

Why I Write About My Mental Illness

 

 

 

 

 

 

I write about my mental illness and all it encompasses because if I don’t share what real life with DID is, who will? I want to end the shame, secrecy, and fear attached to mental illness and DID.

I write about my life with mental illness while being truthful, undiluted, and authentic as I can be. I want people to know my struggles, my pain, my low points, and my highlights so I can help reduce the stigma attached to DID.  I’ve seen so much sensationalism and hyperbole in other blogs by individuals who claim to have DID  that I just cringe. They often perpetuate the stigma attached to mental illness and bolster the notion that we with DID are crazy, abnormal, and dangerous.

I hope my readers appreciate that I tell my experiences, the good, the bad, the ugly, just like it is. No hype. No commercialization. No promotion. No drama.

I write about my mental illness so others can see what life with DID is really like.

Knowing Your Are Not Alone

 

 

 

 

 

Lastly, and most importantly, I write about my mental illness and DID so others who cope with the same issues know they are not alone. 

For me, nothing has been more polarizing in my life than my diagnosis of DID.

Have I lost friends because of others finding out about my diagnosis? Yes.

Have I been called a fake and a liar when someone hears of my experiences? Yes.

Have my “friends” shunned me or stopped showing up for me as they did before they learned of my diagnosis? Also, yes.

But I cannot worry about those who do not accept me for who I am. Each time I tell my story, I take the sting out the diagnosis, I chip away at the stigma, and I  leave a space of hope for others to know it is okay to share who they are and what they’ve been through.  

Dissociating, hearing voices, and experiencing alternate personalities in your head are normal experiences for those of us who were highly traumatized in our childhoods. It is very isolating and alienating when you think no one else understands what you are going through.

But I understand because I have lived it and live it still. And I want others to know that I understand, and I want to help them. And the only way I know how is by sharing my story so they are not alone. 

DID is a diagnosis that only breeds shame, secrecy, and loneliness.  I want others to hear the message that they don’t have to be ashamed of their “normal.”

How Will People Know?

Honestly, I write about my mental illness because I just want to help others. If I don’t do it, no one else will, and I am so sincere when I say I want people to know there is help.

By sharing my story, others come to find that we share similar life experiences, and that gives people relief to know they are actually normal. By sharing my life, I hope to place myself in a position to help people, to connect with them, and to be a source of support, strength, and comfort.

I use my life as an example that there is hope. Living with DID is exhausting, and I want people to know there is more to life than simply trying to survive with a debilitating mental condition.  If I don’t share my story, how will people know? 

If I am not brave enough to say, “Hey, my “name” is Becca and I have dissociative identity disorder, how will others know it’s okay for them, too? 

Even as I am about to press publish on this post, the same nervousness and fear sit with me. It never goes away.

But I am so appreciative of the readers who contact me and tell me my blog has helped them, who thank me for being so open and raw, and for knowing how passionately I care about them and their experience. They are the reason I write about my mental illness, and they are the reason I will continue.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

• Do you discuss your mental health?
• Do you feel people overshare?
• How would else can we end the stigma attached to mental illness?