Throwback Thursday

TBT ~ Metaphor ~ A Comparison Between Then and Now

Welcome to Throwback Thursday where I find a blog post that is at least five years old and compare how I was doing back then to how I am doing now. The following piece entitled “Metaphor” is a poem I wrote on December 26, 2012, comparing myself to the act of writing and story-telling.  I use writing to describe how I’ve been altered, revised, and changed.  Though this piece deals with aspects of Dissociative Identity Disorder, there is an overall theme to which everyone can relate.  Please read the passage; my comments and comparisons between then and now will follow. …

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On the personal

If You Really Knew Me, Then You Would Know . . .

As I sat down to write this blog post, it was initially on a different topic.  I’m not narcissistic enough to think people want to 40 things about me, but I’m feeling a little introspective, so I wanted to share some things I am thinking.   I thought a post on things you do not know about me might be helpful, and you might even be able to connect and relate to what I feel or have experienced.    Let me tell you first that I have been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.), formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder.  I’M …

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Wednesday Wisdom

15 Ways to Show Gratitude and Improve Your Happiness

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” Willie Nelson When our mental health is challenged by our circumstances and hardships, it can be hard to be thankful and grateful for what we have, but gratitude is actually the antidote to combat depression, sadness, and feeling moody and down.  Gratitude takes the focus off of what could be and shows thankfulness for what is.   Gratitude is a state of being thankful or appreciative.   The journal Psychiatry in an article entitled “Gratitude and Well Being” defines gratitude as “the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to …

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Friday Feelings

#FridayFeelings – Ending the Stigma of Mental Illness

via GIPHY There’s little reason to wonder why there is a stigma attached to mental illness today To say those with mental illness have been treated inhumanely over the years is an understatement.  Among methods used to treat mental illness over the centuries include lobotomies, purging, bleeding, vomiting, asylums, isolation, injecting patients with syphilis, using insulin comas, exorcism, prayer, and rituals.    Regardless of past treatments and newer, enlightened methods, stigma comes from  multiple sources, such as work, school, family, friends, and media, which work synergistically to cause serious implications for the individual with mental illness.   They all work together …

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Uncategorized

WEDNESDAY WISDOM – VOL 1

Norman Cousins (1912 – 1990) This is a quote from Norman Cousins (1912 – 1990) who was an American journalist and editor in chief of the Saturday Review for over 35 years.  He was known for his quotes on life, death, laughter, and health.    When we think about loss, most times our minds go to people we have lost in death.  But Cousins said losing someone wasn’t the greatest loss of all; he posited that the death of what lies inside us while we yet live is the greatest loss. For me, I thought about things that I have …

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LIVING A MYSTERY

Maybelline snuggling up with my bear on a road trip.   Worth Wondering. WHO’S ON FIRST? So my session with Therapist was interesting yesterday.  At one point he mentioned an alter, Tina, but she was already and participating in the session, but he didn’t know it.  And I’m like, “Dude, don’t you know after all these years who you talkin’ to?”  Made me lose confidence that he really knows who we are and aren’t.  Does he not know us by now?  You can’t tell I’m in the room?  I HATE being talked about in 3rd person. JOB TALK We discussed things …

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WHAT DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY LOOK LIKE

Today I feel so depressed and anxious.  I’m having trouble just getting up off the couch.  I did water my plant and opened the windows for some fresh air, but I’m still in my pajamas and may stay in them all day.  I’ve already gone to McDonalds for a soda in my pajamas and house shoes.  What the fuck do I care?  I haven’t made my bed or unloaded the dishwasher.  It’s Monday, and normally this is the day I clean the apartment.  And Maybelline is sad because I haven’t take her for a walk.  I hate this day. I …

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Uncategorized

ARE YOU SAFE?

Trigger Warning YOU ARE NOT SAFE, NOT EVEN CLOSE. I am quite uneasy; be still my nerves.  An unknown nagging feeling keeps jabbing at the back of my mind, worrying me, filling me with concern and disrupting my thoughts.   I am supposed to write something for Therapist, but I don’t know if I have an accurate topic.  Something about finding a reason to give up cutting and restricting.   I suppose this is in response to the fact that I’ve been cutting and joined a weight loss program that I am taking a little too far. So I guess …

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Dear Me, I Hate You

These are things difficult to discuss because I’m afraid it will be thought I’m only seeking attention.  So when I say I don’t want to talk about it, we really might need to discuss it but are afraid of people being overly concerned or or just not caring.  There is no easy way, and we don’t know how to do “this” because “this” isn’t a goddamn thing. And tired of your pretending to care. It’s all bullshit.  I’m against this post.  Never works.  Never.

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Conversations with my imagination

Saw Therapist again.  It was another wasted session where I refuted that I dissociate or have the diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder.  To complicate matters more for me, he never came out and said, “Yes, you do have D.I.D.” which gives me cause for hope and despair.  If we don’t have D.I.D., then what is wrong with me?  I had a happy childhood.  Most of my memories growing up are good, though there are always some you wish you could leave behind and forget.  So now we are floating all adrift, don’t know where we’re going, how to get there, …

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