Missing In Sight

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hopelessness

When Sadness and Hopelessness Seize Me

In a rare sighting, sadness and hopelessness has its grip on me.  It’s amazing how many mood swings I can have in one day.  Is that just a characteristic of having a dissociative disorder, or does everyone swing like this?… Continue Reading →

Wednesday Wisdom – DO YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR STORY? Vol 2

POWER Do you have power? What is it? How do you get it? What do you do with it? Power: The ability to do or act in a particular way to direct or influence others’ behaviors.  I know in the… Continue Reading →

Music Monday – All about RECOVERING! and FORGIVENESS? Vol 2

Welcome to another edition of Music Monday!  I’ll be quiet now because I have a lot to say regarding the following song “Praying” by Kesha.   Side note:   I don’t know why it turned my background white.  All words are my… Continue Reading →

Writing, Therapy, and Flashbacks

I don’t feel like conspiring to write brilliantly.  I don’t want to care that the creativity has gone out of me like a candle in the wind.  I think I shall never write again because we are not in the… Continue Reading →

Deja Vu Times Two

I wrote the piece below in April of 1995.  I am posting it today because it still defines my existence.  The writing is about how it is so hard to be hopeful because there is always something to strip me… Continue Reading →

Resurfacing

I am now able to breathe again. This past weekend was indescribable, involving all the temper tantrums, self-deprecating thoughts, and histrionics a lapse in recovery can bring. Lying in the abyss of hell, one doesn’t feel that life can get… Continue Reading →

Silence of the dead

I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about how heavy my heart is. I don’t want to talk about how hopeless I am. I don’t want to talk about how lonely I am. I don’t… Continue Reading →

Nobody’s home anymore

Had another session with Dietician. Why do I let it torture me so? The session just sucks the wind out of my sails, sucks out the life and makes me a ghost. I hate living in this body with everyone… Continue Reading →

Help. I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

It’s been a tough week. My depression has gotten worse and my powers of concentration have shot to hell. I haven’t been able to keep up with the blogs I subscribe to, nor have I been able to compose a… Continue Reading →

Time after time

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 18 years old, institutionalized on the mental health floor, and trying to justify my suicide attempt in group therapy. Another woman, about twenty years older than me, scolded me out because… Continue Reading →

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