Missing In Sight

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suicide

How to Talk to Others About Mental Illness Now

I was sitting in my chair, trying to silence my snowballing anxiety, but you know how that goes. I was naseuous, dizzy, constantly rubbing my head and face, beating my skull against the chair, not able to speak with clarity,… Continue Reading →

Simplified Story Of My Life As Told In Gifs

Welcome to the simplified story of my life. First, when I was born, I was already causing problems. I grew up as a misfit.  Nobody liked me, and I had no friends.  I was bullied mercilessly. In my teens, anxiety… Continue Reading →

Dear Me, I Hate You

These are things difficult to discuss because I’m afraid it will be thought I’m only seeking attention.  So when I say I don’t want to talk about it, we really might need to discuss it but are afraid of people… Continue Reading →

Writing, Therapy, and Flashbacks

I don’t feel like conspiring to write brilliantly.  I don’t want to care that the creativity has gone out of me like a candle in the wind.  I think I shall never write again because we are not in the… Continue Reading →

Deja Vu Times Two

I wrote the piece below in April of 1995.  I am posting it today because it still defines my existence.  The writing is about how it is so hard to be hopeful because there is always something to strip me… Continue Reading →

Boom!

It’s not that easy.  It’s not that easy.  It’s not that easy. I will not make it this time.  I am burrowing a hole for myself, digging my own grave.  Only this time, people in my professional life are handing… Continue Reading →

Female Fortunato

Female Fortunato I realize now how foolish I was. I thought I would never be back here. But there is no mistaking that I have come home for the final time. What a wretched place this is! It feels so primitive, so endemic, that my mind… Continue Reading →

To Sleep: Perchance to Dream

I am quite anxious and uneven. Forces are against me… or just in pain. I have gone through a transformation, a metamorphosis of a dark kind. I am not the same me I was at the beginning of summer. Something… Continue Reading →

God, grant me serenity to accept the things I can not change.

********Trigger Warning for talk of sex and abuse********* The world feels like a dream. There are things I wonder if I dreamed about, or if I actually did them. Such as feeding the dogs this morning. I thought I fed… Continue Reading →

Sounds of silence

I haven’t posted lately. I’ve been quiet. At least on the outside. Things are revving up on the inside. I haven’t posted because I have nothing to say. I’m reading everyone else’s post and wondering what the fuck is wrong… Continue Reading →

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