Scrambled brain on the side…

I am not okay. Right now the others are bearing down on me and I don’t know what they want. What are they trying to communicate? The headache has been horrible. I took several tranqs; what else could I do? I hate it when it gets this chaotic. I haven’t allowed any blogging or journaling […]

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AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I need help. I really need help. I know that we are the only ones who can help us, but those are empty words. I’ve played every inspirational song I can think of but nothing is helping. I’m already losing the ability to focus and I’m having chest pains. We left residential treatment on Thanksgiving […]

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Slipping by and away

I can barely speak the disgust in which I feel towards myself. It does no good to berate myself over my eating. I’ve been restricting lately, but that is not the reason I’m upset. My husband, D., has been getting suspicous since coming home from treatment and so I hate some cookies today that I […]

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Itchy brain

My eyes hurt. There is a lot of activity in my head tonight. I wish I could just get real with it. But it seems that I just want to push it away with tranqs and analgesics instead of dealing with what lies beneath. I fear that this post will be a toasted, scrambled rambling […]

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What the fuck?

So here I am, at home, away from residential treatment, away from all support, so it seems. Yesterday, I saw the first person who is supposed to be on my treatment team and her reaction when she saw me was how great, strong, and healthy I look. What the fuck? All she had to do […]

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