My words fail me,
like every other part of me does.

I wish I could,
but I can not. 

 I want to quit, cease to
exist, give up, but there is something in me that makes me keep going, 

No matter how low
I go, I can not let go. 

I wish this part
of me to die.  I would like to enjoy
giving up.

All arrows point
to how worthless I am.  Clearly there is something
in me missing, something deficient.  It’s
hard to live always sub-standard.  

Others can
accomplish what I can not.  And all I
want to do is let go.

Maybe one day I
will show them.  Maybe I will not be as
strong as they assume.  Maybe I will
break instead of constantly bending.  I’m
certainly due.

I’m so tired at
every turn.  Exhausted.

I can not imagine
how this will be worth it.  

I can not imagine
anything other than letting go. 

I can not imagine
any other way out.

They will treat
this, I know, as a fever in my head, coming and going, but it is not.

And I know they’ll
never know, and that is the saddest thing to ever know.   

But I know, and that’s all I need to know.