PAINKILLER

Things are quiet and subdued tonight.  Though I feel the need to write, words scurry away. I can’t wrap my mind around what is happening to me.   I listen to music; it is a salve to my soul. Music speaks to me and comforts me, and I need all the comfort I can obtain […]

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Am I Reality? and What Not to Disclose to Your Therapist!

Am I Reality? and What Not to Disclose to Your Therapist! 1

An amalgam of three days of journal writing Our purpose here is to figure out two things:  1) how to nurture our angry protector Tina 2) Therapist mentioned that we need acceptance.  Figure out what he meant by acceptance.  Accept what? I don’t know what he meant by acceptance.  All I want to do is […]

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Home of the Not-So Brave

Home of the Not-So Brave 5

It’s been two weeks since I’ve written.  In that time I’ve lost a dear father-in-law to death, moved from a nice home to a cramped, crappy apartment, had an exhausting moving sale where all I did was fight with Birth Mother, and have barely escaped foreclosure on my home.  I’ve had enough. In the meantime […]

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Great Unrealistic Expectations

My dog Maybelline is stressing me.  She wants to go on a walk, and I just don’t have it in me to get off this couch, which makes me feel like a terrible pet partner. Taken from today’s journal: Been a busy day.  Service, errands, back pain.  The works.  I wish I could take a […]

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A Gluttonous Hijacking of Words

A Gluttonous Hijacking of Words 7

I want to talk. I really, really do.  But it’s just too late.   Games are all I can do, and I’ve been messing with you.  At least I’m honest. What a shame for me to annihilate chances to get help and for you to get so close to the truth and have it disappear […]

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