Missing In Sight

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LIVING A MYSTERY

Maybelline snuggling up with my bear on a road trip.   Worth Wondering. WHO’S ON FIRST? So my session with Therapist was interesting yesterday.  At one point he mentioned an alter, Tina, but she was already and participating in the session,… Continue Reading →

GETTING BETTER: THE CONUDRUM

Maybelline learning to solve a puzzle for her treats. Pieces Taken from Wednesday’s Journal Entry Guess I’ve occupied myself well enough today.  Most of the depression lingering in my soul is dissipating.  Did some cleaning today and cooking.  Breaded pork… Continue Reading →

THE COUP: ILLEGAL SEIZURE OF POWER

Maybelline sound asleep.  She loves her crate.  Makes her feel safe and secure. I don’t know if I can write this post.  I feel extremely dissociative at this very moment despite taking my medication. I don’t know why it’s important… Continue Reading →

Safety is as Stupid Does

Maybelline taking a long nap after a walk. I feel uneasy and unsettled, and a lot has to do with our session with Therapist.  The clock revealed only 30 minutes had elapsed, so I must have lost time in there…. Continue Reading →

Writing, Therapy, and Flashbacks

I don’t feel like conspiring to write brilliantly.  I don’t want to care that the creativity has gone out of me like a candle in the wind.  I think I shall never write again because we are not in the… Continue Reading →

Great Unrealistic Expectations

My dog Maybelline is stressing me.  She wants to go on a walk, and I just don’t have it in me to get off this couch, which makes me feel like a terrible pet partner. Taken from today’s journal: Been… Continue Reading →

Protecting the Protector

I want to write, and I want to call out Sheila to discuss without emotion and bias what is happening regarding Tina, particularly and her denial of D.I.D. I’ll address my surmise of how Tina feels currently.  She wants to… Continue Reading →

Conversations with my imagination

Saw Therapist again.  It was another wasted session where I refuted that I dissociate or have the diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder.  To complicate matters more for me, he never came out and said, “Yes, you do have D.I.D.” which… Continue Reading →

Not As We

Nobody lives here anymore. Poke and stir the ashes of yesterday’s consumption, you will not find me . . . and they have been missing for a while. There were signs it was happening. My soul became painfully still and… Continue Reading →

Just another label

The time since March I spent away from the blog was generally a happy time.  I finished school, obtained a job, and have spent the last four months enjoying my time at my work.  Apart from work, things are falling. … Continue Reading →

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