|Maybelline snuggling up with my bear on a road trip.|
WHO’S ON FIRST?
So my session with Therapist was interesting yesterday. At one point he mentioned an alter, Tina, but she was already and participating in the session, but he didn’t know it. And I’m like, “Dude, don’t you know after all these years who you talkin’ to?” Made me lose confidence that he really knows who we are and aren’t. Does he not know us by now? You can’t tell I’m in the room? I HATE being talked about in 3rd person.
We discussed things like obtaining my Masters degree for writing and also doing some tutoring on the side since I used to be a teacher. I’ve decided to begin the arduous and probably disappointing process of using services from Vocational Rehabilitation. If tutoring is something I consider pursuing, they would help me out by finding me jobs and places that are looking for tutors.
THE BROKEN BRAIN
He also didn’t give much merit to what was said about the mind losing energy with the smallest work and needs a nap frequently to reset. He didn’t understand what I meant when I said our brain was broken. It’s when much of your coping skills are gone. When you revert back to the person you were before you made progress. A broken brain is where every little task seems overwhelming and you almost feel child-like and can’t do anything. A broken brain is like being in a coma, able to hear and feel your surroundings, but unable to communicate anything from the bottom of the coma in which you are encased. My brain broke in 2015 for good. Since then, it’s just about piecing moments and thoughts together to make a semblance of a life.
Therapist also wanted to talk about the happy times of childhood. I shut that shit down fast. I don’t want to discuss any aspect of being a child. If there were good times, I don’t want to know about it. There is nothing worth remembering, nothing about being a child that I want any knowledge of.
What are your thoughts?
1)How do you hand your therapist talking to and about your parts?
2) Have you ever thought something inside you broke?
3) Do you avoid talking about childhood altogether, or can you appreciate happy times if they existed?