Missing In Sight

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purging

If the Truth Were Told

I even said a prayer before my session with Therapist today and asked God that I not be so guarded and to help me be open to change.  But what transpired between me and Therapist was more than I bargained… Continue Reading →

Both Roads Taken

Another sleepless night so far.  The anxiety has mostly lessened since my previous post,  but the sleepless nights continue despite medication.  Psychiatrist gave me a new med to try, but it gives me an unrelenting headache the next day, and it… Continue Reading →

Hunger games

Read the Hunger Games series? It’s pretty good, though has nothing to do with eating disorders like I thought it did. I hear the clock in my living room ticking and tocking. The ticks remind me it’s dinner time, as… Continue Reading →

Trouble Ahead

The content of this post is frightening me. Rereading it, I can’t believe I’m going to hit the “publish” button. It serves to show how desperate I am. This is the only place I have to turn to right now…. Continue Reading →

Oops! I did it again…(Trigger Warning for ED talk)

Oops…I did it again. I binged and purged today. I won’t lie; I felt better afterward. All my anxiety had been lifted, and I felt clean. It all started this morning when I went shopping for a swimsuit and a… Continue Reading →

I’ve still got it, but I don’t want it. I purged tonight, and it was easy. Too easy. The last couple of times I purged it was difficult. I had to use all the little tricks I’ve learned along the… Continue Reading →

Friendship for sale

Here I am at Panera Bread Co. I’ve just finished my therapy session and I’m waiting for my movie to start. I’m going to the dollar theater to see Gran Torino. I’m just trying to add structure to my day…. Continue Reading →

Welcome to the party

I had decided not to write, and the words just weren’t in me. But I can not be silent for my own sake. My heart hurts. My soul aches and I can’t do a damn thing about it. I’m stressed… Continue Reading →

Better than a Klonipin

I did it. I’m not proud. I can’t be left alone. I need a crazy-sitter. Yes, I binged and purged tonight. I was afraid it would happen, and it did. I should feel more ashamed of what I did, but… Continue Reading →

2 days into the New Year! &^*%#

I was just catching up and reading everyone’s blogs and posts for the New Year. Impressive. In comparison to others, I find myself alone because I don’t want to look back. I don’t want to look at the year 2008…. Continue Reading →

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