D. And I are at the mall before we go see the movie, Rachel Getting Married. Everyone at the mall seems so normal. They walk around drinking fattening coffee drinks and munching on delicous smelling pretzels. I'm so jealous. My life is so so out of control. But I still feel day and worry over my calories, even though I worked out for an hour and purged lunch. I don't want to do this anymore. I deserve more out of life. I don't want to be afraid of food.
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