Silence of the dead

Silence of the dead 1

I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about how heavy my heart is. I don’t want to talk about how hopeless I am. I don’t want to talk about how lonely I am. I don’t want to talk about how fat I feel. I don’t want to talk about how […]

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Vegetarianism and eating disorders

Vegetarianism and eating disorders 13

I was asked by Dietician recently why I became a vegetarian. I gave her the standard “so I will feel better” and “I’m against animal cruelty” (which I am) answers. But after thinking about it, I know being a vegetarian has to do more with my eating disorder and less to do with animals. I […]

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Emotional

Emotional 22

I feel so emotional. The least little thing is provoking tears. I never cry, so why are these tears so special? I’m living in a dark place where no one can see me or touch me. I do not feel safe. I had an MRI today to help determine the cause of my dizziness and […]

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I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad 27

I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I’m dying Are the best I’ve ever had. Gary Jules – Mad WorldThose lyrics are in my head as I contemplate this post. I find my situation disturbing. I wish it wasn’t happening. What does it say about me? […]

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Here’s your sign

Here's your sign 40

It happened again. Oh yes, it did! Let me set the scene for you. So I’ve had a pain in my back for 10.5, and, no, it’s not my husband. I have a herniated disc, L5 S1. So I get epidurals (ouch is right!) every six months or so. Well today I went to my […]

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