Days like this I don’t know what to do with myself

I don’t know what to say. I hate feeling like this. I feel uninspired and rather ineffectual right now. The sad music plays and soothes my brain. I’m sorry, dear reader. I would rather post a positive blog, but I’m not so positive right now. I’m at Panera, as usual, but this time I’m writing […]

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Too fat to die

I need help stopping my downward spiral. I know of at least one alter that is suicidal; some are apathetic, and others don’t want to die this fat. The last statement is really silly, I know. But that is how this mind works. I cancelled my therapy appointment today because I didn’t feel pretty enough […]

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Friendship for sale

Here I am at Panera Bread Co. I’ve just finished my therapy session and I’m waiting for my movie to start. I’m going to the dollar theater to see Gran Torino. I’m just trying to add structure to my day. Depression has a ravenous hold on me, chomping away at me. This is such an […]

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Look who’s taking risks.

I took two risks today. I was sitting in A.N.A.D. (Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.) After the meeting began and the silence was deafening, I broke the silence and offered up what I am struggling with. As I tweeted earlier today, I binged and purged this morning. So one of the risks I took was […]

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Too much to ask for

I learned today that I can’t cry tears. I must not have been born with tear ducts. I know how silly that sounds but I also know I haven’t cried in months and I’m about due. I’m not ashamed to bawl my eyes out in front of others. I’m also not depressed to the point […]

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