Too fat to die

I need help stopping my downward spiral. I know of at least one alter that is suicidal; some are apathetic, and others don’t want to die this fat. The last statement is really silly, I know. But that is how this mind works. I cancelled my therapy appointment today because I didn’t feel pretty enough […]

Read More

Fading into the woodwork

Find me please. I’m dissipating into oblivion. I need to be found. I’m not dissociating. I’m just missing. My words are not my own and are borrowed from someone deep inside. I’m too scared to leave the bed; even more afraid to leave the house. Each day is a replica of days prior. Urgent business […]

Read More

Back from the looney bin!

Watch out world! We are back home. Yeah, me! We were inpatient for a little over two weeks. I must admit that it wasn’t as bad as I had predicted. The group of ladies I was with are phenomenal. We formed a bond so close that it will continue past our time in treatment. Any […]

Read More

To be, or to be better. How is the question.

Do we ever face more than one crossroads in our life? I’m at one now, several actually. Meeting with our T. today provided a reason for us to stop and take pause. There are many unanswered questions where he is concerned and I, myself, don’t know where to take this. For starters, another eating disorder […]

Read More

Living and dying in 2 different worlds

The moonlight offers her condolences on such a dark night. How did she know? Why don’t more people know? If they did, would it matter? I haven’t posted lately for a couple of reasons. One, I’m tired of hearind my own complaining, whiny voice and the voices of others. Secondly, I havn’t been around for […]

Read More