The desire for self-expression afflicts people when they feel there is something of themselves which is not getting through to the outside world. ~ Fay Weldon

My writing muse has been mute lately.  My writing has grown stale and unsatisfying to me.

Though I wrote an article on the dangers of comparison found here, I can not help but admit my own weaknesses in comparing myself to others.  Because I feel inferior and less valuable as a result of comparing myself to others, I have started down a path where I blog for others and not for myself, and that has left my writing dry, sterile, and unenjoyable for me.  

Given, there is a certain logic in writing for others; if you want your voice to be heard, you must have an audience to listen, but then your writing is not your own; it belongs to your audience.  If I just wanted to write about my everyday life, thoughts, and feelings, I could just continue to keep them in a journal, but I do not.  I want my voice to be heard.  So my goal is to integrate my writing with what my audience wants along with writing that is more representative of me.

I thought it would be a good idea to think of reasons why I write if I am to find my voice again.  Why do I write?

Reasons why I write:

1. I want to help others.  If I share my experiences then maybe others will be able to relate to my story and not feel alone or misunderstood.
2. I want to effect change.  Silence serves no one, so if I want to see and be part of the change, particularly for those with mental health issues, I have to speak up and tell my story.
3. Similarly to reason #2,  I write because I want to speak out for those who haven’t found their voice yet, for those who are too afraid, and for those who think they are crazy and/or nobody will believe them.  
4. I write because, if I don’t, I will wither and die.  There’s a beast inside me that must connect thoughts, feelings, and ideas with words, phrases, sentences and immortalize them in print.  
5. Writing gives me purpose.  Writing takes me on a journey of self-discovery.
6. Writing tempers the emotional disturbances I feel.  When things are troubling me, writing is my outlet and untangles the mess of emotions that crash against my mind.
7. I enjoy the craft of writing.  I love the feeling I get when a hard-to-find word is linked to a temperamental thought, and they collide together to come alive and create a moment.
8. Writing feels natural to me.  The need to write is as instinctive as the need to breathe in oxygen or blink your eyes.
9. Writing helps me feel accomplished.    
10. Writing is how I create; words are how I paint the heart, soul, and mind.
11. It helps me tackle in a positive way the varying emotions, thoughts, desires, and urges I experience.
12. Writing helps me create a language that allows me to connect with other people.
13. Writing keeps me an honest, genuine, and authentic person.  What I write is who I am.
14. Self-expression.  Writing helps me speak my truth because, if I don’t tell my story, no one else will.
15. I write because it makes me feel alive.  It makes me feel real and complete and whole.

Numbers 14 and 15 are very important reasons for why I write.  And lately, I feel that my writing does not reflect the real me or my voice.  I have been hesitant to add personal experiences to my blog posts because some of them might not be perceived as positive and some might not be received well, especially when discussing my diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder.  However, my blog posts going forward will be genuine and incorporate a little more of me and my life in them, which I think will make them more interesting.   So, I will not underestimate you, my dear reader.  I know sharing a little more of myself will help you get to know me better and help us connect on a more personal and meaningful level.

I’d love to hear from you!!

Why do you write?

If you could change anything about your writing, what would it be?

What do you find appealing in a blog post?

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