We have a choice to make.

You have a choice. I have a choice.  Everybody has a choice to make: Do we want to be happy, and what choices are we willing to make to achieve it?  

In front of us, we have two doors that represent two choices. Choosing the right door can be the difference in feeling happy and joyful or being sad and miserable.  

The Choice Behind Door Number One

Door number one promises that, with hard work, practiced resilience, and determination and grit, we can achieve happiness.  

The door calls to me and invites me inside.  I am drawn to its comfort, to the sweet smell of grandma’s freshly baked cookies and the sound of children’s laughter beckoning from the other side of the door.  

Door number begins my visit by advising me to use strategies that will improve my mood. For example, door number one encourages self-acceptance and contentment.  When I’m feeling down, door number one pushes me to treat myself as the worthy individual I am, that deserves to love and be loved.

Door number one reminds me I should do self-soothing activities when negativity creeps up on me, such as journaling, coloring, baking, or sitting in the sun while, in her brilliance, the sun comes out to play. 

Door number one suggests I apply my favorite trendy makeup, bake my favorite chocolate dessert, or slip on my best outfit and go swagger and sashay myself to my favorite restaurant and confidently sit with only my company.  She admonishes me to embrace these suggestions regardless if I feel I deserve such special treats. Door number one inspires me not to wait for a special occasion but to do the things now that I want to enjoy, not because I earned the right, but because I am innately worthy and human, and I am justified in having good things.

Door number one warns me that choosing her door and, thus, happiness will not always be easy, but it will always be worth it.

But then there’s door number two, and she begs me to enter her “promise land.”.

The Choice Behind Door Number Two

 

 

 

 

 

Door number two also promises happiness, but she is an imposter; she is make-believe, full of lies trying to make you believe she can bring you happiness, but her “happiness” is not equal to that of door number one.  

Door number two allows me to take it easy, give up, and marinate in my pity pot. I’ve had a rough life, she tells me; “You deserve to sit back and take a break.” I hear what she says, but I know enough to understand that depression never takes a break, and maybe I shouldn’t either.

Door number two says to go ahead and restrict my food intake at dinner.  She comforts me with promises of feeling happier and more in control.  What the door doesn’t tell me is how physically weak I will feel or how the only control to be experienced is the control the eating disorder has over me.

Door number two orders me to self-harm because the anxiety is so encompassing that cutting feels like the only way to kill the rising panic. But door number two fails to divulge that the anxiety will eventually calm down, and there are other more successful and less damaging ways to handle my pain.

Door number two tells me another drink will be okay and that I will feel more chill and relaxed.  But door number two doesn’t tell me I will be hungover in the morning due to excessive drinking, or that I will not be able to attend work and that, when I call out sick, my boss will be angry with me.

Door number two pledges for a certainty that if you compare yourself to everyone else, you will find not only happiness but contentment and self-satisfaction. A two-fer, she brags.  (The author pleads with you no to compare yourself with others.  Click here to find out why.)

 

Door number two councils me to abruptly stop taking my meds because they make me feel strange.  Anyways, the meds were making me gain weight, and ain’t nobody got time for that.

Door number two supports my desire to stay in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head.  Why get out of bed, she questions, when you will feel better by not facing the day?

Door number two gives me permission to skip my shower because we have become too sad and exhausted from ignoring our emotions all day. Door number two asks me why I bother showering anyway? She reminds me I’m only going to be alone.

Door number two tells me to skip my therapy appointment because, well, who cares? Door number two recounts how therapy has never worked for me because I am still depressed, I am still worthless, and I am still hopeless.  She tries to convince me that therapy has failed me.  But secretly I know I am the one who failed therapy. I am the one who has not been participating in the sessions

Hmmm. I think deeply about door number two. “What are you really offering me,” I ask to myself.  “Is it real happiness or just settling for an existence?”

Choices, Choices, Choices

Each door possesses a different avenue towards making the best choices for our mental health.

Door number one comforts me by saying, “You can,” while door number two judges me by saying, “You can’t.”

Door number one reminds me of my determination and grit to succeed, while door number two stresses how hard the fight will be and to go ahead and surrender.

Door number one won’t let me forget that I am worthy, capable, trustworthy, courageous, and determined.  Door number two works to brainwash me that I’m lost, hopeless, abandoned, wretched, and doomed.

The choice:

I feel like I’m on The Voice. I have to choose a door, and I have to choose it now.  Each door is clamoring for my choice.  Who will get my vote?  

Will it be door number one or door number two?

I don’t even think twice.

My choice is made.

I cast my vote.

I am happy.

I would love to hear from you!

• How do you deal with negative feelings?
• What do you do on those depression-filled days to make yourself feel better?
• Do you have a strategy you could share that lifts you out of the mentally dark times?