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Grief. It can cause numbness, emptiness, shock, abandonment, depression, crying, exhaustion, confusion, and much more. If such pain is brought on by grief, who would think of themselves as lucky when they lose someone they dearly love? But being lucky is the conclusion toward which I’m slowly reaching. 
For almost a month, I’ve been mired in grief and the accompanying depression and sadness that ebbs and mostly flows with the loss and mourning of my mom. The overwhelming grief for my mom is a monster for which nothing could have prepared me; however, my perspective is starting to change. I’m realizing now how lucky I am.
I had an extraordinary mom. She was generous beyond her means. She quietly helped those who needed money, clothes, food, even if it meant her going without. She was wise and pragmatic, helping me see a practical and objective perspective on life.
I wish I could have been more for her. She would always tell me I was her favorite daughter. When I replied I was her only daughter, she would tell me that made me her favorite. She loved me more than she should have. I will be happy if I become just a little like her.
While the pain screams so loudly in my heart, in my grief I realize now how lucky I am. I had someone in my life that was worth this grief. The sorrow is worth enduring just for the chance I had of knowing her and having her as my mom.
Saying goodbye to my mom has been the greatest agony I have experienced. But I realize how fortunate I am. I’m so lucky to have had the chance to know someone so special that it hurts to let her go. While I don’t wish grief on anyone, I do wish all to have that special someone in his or her life that it makes saying goodbye so hard. That’s the blessing. The grief I feel over losing my mom is worth it because I knew someone so phenomenal and special that it is worth the pain.
I love you, mom. I always did; I always will.
I loved how you let your emotions flow through the keypad! Absolutely loved it. Your blog brought back a lot of memories for me!
Keep writing! More power to you!
Also do find some time and read some of my blogs https://throughmymind.blog/ and since my website is just a month old, would appreciate your feedback on the same.
Please forgive me if I’ve already applied to you. My probably is not working properly these days, and I can’t even understand my site host that says if I’ve commented to you. With all that said, ignore this if I’ve already replied. I do want to thank you for such honoring words. I try so hard to let the “real” me come out in writing, that I’m open, honest, and genuine, so when you complimented me that my “emotions [flew] through the keypad” was so affirming to read. Thank you!! I will definitely check your blog within the next day and leave you a comment. And welcome to the blogging world! 🙂
This is such a beautifully written message and it’s meaningful. It’s an amazing way to look at things and it’s a blessing I came across this post because it came at the best time…
Thank you so much for commenting. I appreciate your words and expressions. I don’t know to what you are referring when you say it “came at the best time,” but I hope you find peace in what you need. If there is a way I can help, please let me know. 🙂
thank you for posting this , I lost my mom about 7 years ago and even to this day the pain can be just as fresh. I do little things to remember her spirit on her birthday (Which is in 3 days) I’ll go for Dim Sum or something that she loved doing. The pain of losing someone will never go away nor will the flood of emotion that hits you like a train, it’s taking all of that and making it into something great.
I am grateful you took the time to comment. I am sorry you lost your mom, also. I thought my traumatic past was the worst pain ever. I was wrong. I am glad you do something to remember her on her birthday. My father to whom she was still married has an anniversary coming up in May. We’ve decided to all go out and still celebrate their marriage. It’s the little things that mean so much to us. Take care.
Great way to reframe. The greatest grief comes from the greatest love.
Thank you so much for your comment. You said it so eloquently about the greatest grief coming from the greatest love. Plus, I never felt I deserved my mom, which makes it all the more painful. But the only way through grief is through it.