I
want to let go.

There
are no fluffy words or poetic sentiments I can muster tonight. My
thoughts are halted by the regime of exhaustion and apathy. I want
to speak, but the air devours my words before they may be heard.

I
have not felt this alone in many dark moons. Helpless. Hopeless.

I
want to let go.

I’ve
reached the place where the existential self is at peace. There
exists no more fighting. We’ve laid down our swords and our hopes at
the same time.

I
do not believe in history. It is deceiving. It’s promises can not
be trusted. A new reality is often created than can not be predicted
with history. We are in such a place. History holds
no more promise than the hollow words of encouragement.

I
want to let go.

I’m
sinking deeply. Pulled down under the undertow. I’ve done it to
myself. I can not go back. It’s better this way.

I’m
letting go.