I want to write, and I want to call out Sheila to discuss without emotion and bias what is happening regarding Tina, particularly and her denial of D.I.D.
I’ll address my surmise of how Tina feels currently. She wants to push the agenda that there is no dissociation because she feels out of the loop. When was the last time she really had to defend and protect us? Okay. Besides the handshake incident. Other than that, not too recently.
I predict her services will be needed again, but she’s not used to being in the silent role. She’s used to taking action, not sitting back. She feels unnecessary. Everyone here has at least one job, and Tina’s job has been to protect the system. On behalf of Tina, there’s been very little need from Tina to protect us. She feels useless and unneeded.
Imagine how she might feel. Instead of throwing up defenses to protect the system, in a way, she is the one who needs protection . . . from herself. Without her anger, where and how does she get her power? She doesn’t. And she wants in a way to send the whole system on its own by denying us, make us defenseless, so she can feel powerful again. If she denies the existence of others inside, she gets back some portion of power because she can in a sense make them go away.
What Tina needs now, regardless if she believes we have D.I.D., is for us to rally around her, wipe away her tears, and above all let her know she’s needed by us.
However, I don’t know how to do the latter yet. She’s the only one who seems in crises. How do you provoke or bring her out of her defenses? It will be important to tell her how she defends us to some degree every day. Whether it’s getting our food right at a restaurant, a price right when shopping, or making sure we have good customer service. She speaks her mind when it comes to getting what we need. Thank her for that.
But there’s another side. If she has no one to protect, how can she lash out at Therapist and keep him in his place. And we have to be the ones to let Therapist know what she needs and how she’s feeling. She won’t speak loudly enough of her needs. We must do that.
Tina believes, and perhaps rightly so, that she has a special relationship with Therapist. I know she want to feel special. We all want to feel that way, and that will be dealt with soon. But for now, we must acknowledge the bond she feels toward Therapist. She spoke up for us in the past. It’s our turn to speak up for her now.
We must remember that while Tina is a Protector, even she needs protection from herself.
In regards as to whether we dissociate, more discussion must take place. It’s true, the system has shifted, and I don’t feel a strong awareness of what we’re dealing with here and what the system needs and what the roles are now. I feel the system needs to get to know each other again, if we truly dissociate. I saw someone’s handwriting recently belonging to a woman named Molly. Is she new? Are there others that are new? We must be open to al possibilities and communicate more as a whole.
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